Is Your Business/Life Coach a Sociopath?

For the past few weeks, the social fringes of the coaching world have started fraying among a small group of critically engaged, actively frustrated folks.  People with certifications, degrees, and abilities out the wazoo.  Engaged and enraged by the HEAPING TON of bullshit circulating the world of the interwebs, these smart coaches and professionals have started rounding the troops to blow the proverbial whistle on the industry.

The response? Utterly epic.

Angry so-called ‘coaches’ crying nonsense, vulnerable victims saying ‘this happened to me too!’, people coming out of the woodwork in droves to proclaim from the rooftops ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I too have joined the cries and the frustration, in fact I wrote a pretty angry facebook post about it today.  But you see?  The problem with all of these posts so far is that they don’t get to the root of the problem.

The coaching world is rife with sociopaths.

There. I said it. And the worst part? It is other sociopaths that have created these minions.

Don’t believe me?

How many times have you seen the following story posted?

“Just a year ago I was bouncing from job to job, was broke, and couldn’t keep a relationship solid to save my life.  These days I started a coaching business without even a certification from a reputable agency and now I make one billion dollars!  I have the love of my life, I am so over the moon happy, and everything is perfect.  You can do it too!  Just pay me 3 easy payments of your soul, your first born, and your life savings and I’ll teach you how to do it. And if you don’t hire me?  You’ll never succeed.  xoxo Your favorite coach”

Sound familiar?

That’s because it is. If you’ve been in the coaching world or online marketing world forever this is the common refrain. The ubiquitous battle cry.

There is nothing wrong inherently with this story. In fact, it is a great story.  BUT it is problematic if:

a) It isn’t true.

b) They don’t deliver on the material,  or

c) They manipulate you into thinking this is the only way to be successful in online business.

Side note & Funny story….Did you know that some coaching schools are supposedly advocating for this level of lying in your marketing because it leads to more sales?  Cute, eh?  ‘Coaching schools’ are LITERALLY breeding tiny, lemming sociopaths.

Want to avoid ending up with a sociopath as a coach?

Here are 7 warning signs of sociopaths from the DSM* (it’s the diagnostic bible for psychology) and how they manifest in coaches/coaching.

Warning Sign #1: Ego Driven Self-Identity

This is the biggest one.  But not enough to qualify someone.  According to the DSM-5, ego-centrism is a huge driver of sociopathic behaviors.  In fact the self-esteem of sociopaths tends to be derived by personal gain, power, or pleasure.  If gain, power, or pleasure shifts…Their self-esteem drops drastically.

How this manifests in coaching:  Do they post constantly about how perfect and amazing their life is without reference to the how it got there?  Or maybe they only post about their successes and never their failures.  OR maybe they are high as a kite one day because they are SO SUCCESSFUL, then two days later are posting how sad and depressed they are and miserable because one potential client said ‘no thanks’ .  Or their income drops by 10% and they freak out instead of say ‘ah yes, I’m doing well still’. Or they never talk about gratitude, their mentors, etc. and say it was ‘all them’?  Do they conflate their success so far with the ability to share it and be a gazillionaire?  (RUN AWAY.)

OR the best one?

They say “I have all the answers” but have zero training, experience, or long-term chops to prove to you they can do it. But they say they can teach you anyhow.

All this points to this warning sign #1.

And generally speaking someone much like them coached them into this belief they can do anything (without proving themselves first).

Warning Sign #2: Whacked Out Goal Setting

Goal setting is meant to be a holistic process.  And according to the DSM-5, if a person’s goal-setting is all 100% personally motivated, and focused only on the gratification of ME ME ME then we have a major problem.   Good goal setting?  The Desire Map.  Bad goal setting?  Pinky and the Brain taking over the world-ing. 

How this manifests in coaching:  They talk about their money goals almost exclusively and never refer to other goals they have for their life, family, house, etc.  Or maybe they talk about their money goals without saying WHY they want that money?  And they can’t often explain why they want more money other than to say ‘abundance’.  And their goals seem intrinsically linked to how successful they will be, and have zero relevance to other less tangible stuff (happiness, etc).

Warning Sign #3: Lack of empathy and Generalized Callousness

Empathy is defined as the ability to share or understand the feelings of another.  And a lack of this ability shows some warning signs to being not ‘normal’.  And how about people who in general don’t feel for people who are struggling because the struggle is just some ‘mindset’ or ‘story’?  They can shove off too.  (That is called callous.)

How this manifests in coaching:  Coach mistreats you then says it’s your fault?  Or screws up and doesn’t apologize or says it is YOUR mindset?  That is lack of remorse.  Or maybe they say “Oh I hear how difficult your situation is but if you truly want it you’ll find the money?” Yeah…Also lack of empathy.  And that notion that ‘your life situation is all 100% mindset’, also bullshit callous nonsense.

Warning Sign #4: Manipulation

Manipulation is a huge problem and is a favorite tool among sociopaths. Manipulation can be quantified by many things including using your influence to control others, and a focus on seduction and charm to influence others.  (AKA making people like you because you’re ‘awesome’ not because you’re ‘of value’ so to speak.

Another key of this?  Shiny, sparkly, enigma. It feels…Off.  There isn’t much to say about that, other than it doesn’t feel real.  It feels manufactured.

How this manifests in coaching:  Think that saying ‘buy this coaching package or you’ll never be successful” is a sales tactic?  Think again.

Coaches, people, and business owners who only use manipulation are worth steering wicked far far away from.  Sales is showing people why they need your thing, manipulation is telling people they NEED IT no matter what.

Shaming people into purchasing packages. Coaches that say that only THEY have the ability to make the shifts happen, no other coach.  Coaches who promise six figures in their marketing and then make you sign a waiver that says ‘I can’t promise it will happen, sorry.’  Coaches who bully you into believing it is ALL YOUR FAULT and that there is zero onus on them?  Yeah…All of that is manipulation.

Warning Sign #5: Deceitfulness and Misrepresentation

This is my favorite.  DSM says:  Lying, embellishment, and misrepresentation of facts as they occurred is a big ‘un.  Over exaggeration?  Also a thing.  This is a big problem because it undermines trust, and creates distance from the truth.  Sociopaths aren’t a huge fan of the truth.

How this manifests in coaching:  Those rags to riches stories?  They are great.  If they actually happened. All those posts about freedom?  ALSO FAB!  IF they happened.

Lying and misrepresenting your experience, point of view, or current state of being?  Big problem.  Blatant embellishment and fabrication of events is the kicker.  See also:  Fraudulence.

Read Becca’s treatise on this.  Better than anything I can add here.  

Warning Sign #6: Irresponsibility

According to the DSM-5, many sociopaths have difficulty claiming responsibility for their actions and way of being in the world.  This can manifest in hundreds of ways, but often shows a lack of remorse for behaviors such as mistakes they have made, difficulty owning up to financial responsibilities, and more.

How this manifests in coaching:  Does your coach have a general dislike and disrespect for their financial obligations? Did the coach screw up and not deliver a program and then proceed to NOT offer refunds?  Or did they say “but I almost gave everything to you so you can’t be mad.  And I learned so much from it!” Yeah…Those are red flags.  And my dear friends over at Makeness media knocked this one out of the park.

Warning Sign #7: Difficulty Sticking to Things, People, Plans

One of the major signs is constantly changing directions with no clear reason.  Saying that their old employers/lovers/clients ‘just couldn’t handle them’.  Or that they don’t/never have had any friends?  These are big old flag waving WOAH moments to look out for.

How this manifests in coaching:  Launching new programs constantly.  Rebranding every year.  New relationships regularly.  Couldn’t hold a steady job before they were a coach.  Always posting about new lovers and shouting about how perfect this person is as compared to the last 20 people.  Always talking about how ‘unemployable’ they are. Saying that they never have friends and can’t make friends.

Now, should you go and start diagnosing the coaches of the internet?

NO.  Definitely not.  Especially because probably ALL of us fall prey to this stuff.  We’re humans, and the internet more or less increases the sociopathic tendencies of humans as a whole.  

BUT, should you watch out for some of these things?

 YES!  Yes yes yes. And should you ALSO check yourself?  Double yes.


So what now?

Well, if you don’t want to get sucked into the sociopathic cluster avoid these things/marketing tactics….

1.  You need this program

If a coach says you need them?  You don’t.  Full stop.  You don’t need anything but yourself and your genius.  The rest is bonus gravy.

2.  You’ll make 6 or 7  figures working with me

I have seen ONE coach who has claimed this and offered a 90% money back guarantee if she didn’t make it happen for you.  The rest?  It is nonsense.  Any marketing that claims you’ll make oodles of money is frequently lying.

3.  Inconsistent Storytelling

Last month was the person saying how broke they were and this month they are making $10,000?  Unlikely.  And likely a lie, because the minute they say it SO MANY PEOPLE will pay them to teach them how to do it too.  Don’t be that person.

4.  They won’t give you references

When you hire a coach, CHECK REFERENCES!  For goodness sake.  Seriously.  You would NEVER hire an employee without checking, so check your coach’s references.  It isn’t that hard!  They have testimonials, talk to those people.

Want to share some moments in the comments?  Feel free.  Tell us about the crazy things you’ve seen in the online world. All I ask?  Zero naming and shaming.  Because it is OUR radical responsibility to do the research, and the issue is industry wide.  A few names does diddly squat.

Merci buckets.

*Please note:  I know a lot of amazing coaches, and I am not a professional mental health anything.  I’m a coach.  BUT, I am also a fantastic researcher.  Have extensive coursework in psychology & coaching.  AND wrote this article taking material from the DSM-5, the bible of psychology.  This is the diagnostic criteria written by all the smarty pants, well-educated psychologists and psychiatrists use.


122 thoughts on “Is Your Business/Life Coach a Sociopath?

  1. I’ve been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I
    never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for
    me. In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made good content
    as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.
    asmr 0mniartist

  2. What’s Taking place i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I’ve discovered It
    positively helpful and it has aided me out loads.

    I’m hoping to contribute & assist other customers like its aided me.
    Good job. asmr 0mniartist

  3. Hiya! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know
    how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone.

    I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem.

    If you have any suggestions, please share. Many thanks!

  4. I have read so many posts concerning the blogger lovers but this paragraph is in fact a pleasant article, keep it up.

    asmr 0mniartist

  5. I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this blog.
    I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well.

    In truth, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own site
    now 😉 asmr 0mniartist

  6. May I simply say what a relief to discover somebody that actually understands what they are talking
    about on the net. You definitely understand how to bring
    a problem to light and make it important. More people need to read this and
    understand this side of the story. I was surprised you’re not more popular because you definitely possess the gift.

  7. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something
    that I think I would never understand. It seems too
    complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward for your
    next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

  8. I have been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles
    or blog posts on this kind of house . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this website.
    Reading this information So i am satisfied to express that I’ve
    an incredibly good uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what I needed.
    I most undoubtedly will make sure to don?t disregard this
    website and give it a glance regularly.

  9. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could
    add to my blog that automatically tweet my
    newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for
    quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience
    with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything.
    I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  10. Every weekend i used to go to see this site, for the reason that i want enjoyment, for
    the reason that this this web site conations in fact pleasant funny information too.

  11. I’m not sure why but this blog is loading incredibly slow for
    me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my
    end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  12. Greetings! Very useful advice within this article! It is the little changes that
    produce the most significant changes. Thanks for
    sharing!

  13. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this superb
    blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding
    your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to new updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group.
    Chat soon!

  14. great post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of
    this sector don’t understand this. You should proceed your writing.

    I’m confident, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

  15. Quando andate alla caccia di casino bonus nuovi, ricordatevi che gli unici bonus da tenere in considerazione sono quelli offerti e garantiti dalle piattaforme dotate della licenza AAMS. Per riconoscere un casino sicuro sarГ  sufficiente sincerarsi della presenza dei loghi AAMS che solitamente sono posti in bella mostra sulla home page del sito. I bonus casino AAMS sono gli unici sul mercato che consentono di iniziare a giocare gratis in totale sicurezza e sono di grande aiuto per introdurvi nel vastissimo mondo del gambling online: diffidate dei casinГІ non autorizzati che offrono dei bonus strabilianti, spesso le condizioni a cui sono sottoposti nascondono spiacevoli sorprese. 888casino is one of the biggest and best known online gaming brands in the world. It has been operating since 1997, meaning it has been around longer than most other operators. This means 888casino has a long track record of offering some of the best online casino games in the industry with an unparalleled online gaming experience. http://gregoryqgvk421986.targetblogs.com/5452602/online-casino-paysafecard-bonus-70 Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency: a kind of digital money that you can buy and keep in an online wallet. Just like any other currency, you can buy and sell Bitcoin, convert it into another currency (like GB pounds or US dollar), or use it to pay for things. Also just like those other currencies, Bitcoin’s value is subject to change. Because of the big boom of cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin and others, there are now online casinos that accept these digital currencies as a form of payment. These so-called “Bitcoin casinos” or “Cryptocurrency casinos” are interesting not only for people invested in the crypto world, but also for the general population. A BTC casino operates virtually in the same way as a conventional internet casino with the only difference being you fund your account using bitcoins instead of fiat currencies.  But since bitcoin is virtual, you store it digitally as a computer file in BTC wallet in your device or the cloud. The most intriguing feature of these casinos is that they don’t need intermediaries, such as banks. Players pass BTC from their holding to the casino, no third party.

  16. scoliosis
    Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up.
    The text in your article seem to be running off the screen in Opera.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with web browser compatibility but I
    thought I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though!
    Hope you get the problem solved soon. Cheers scoliosis

  17. scoliosis
    I like the valuable information you provide in your articles.
    I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.

    I am quite sure I will learn many new stuff right here!
    Good luck for the next! scoliosis

  18. scoliosis
    Howdy! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!

    He always kept talking about this. I will send this post to him.
    Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!
    scoliosis

  19. You could certainly see your expertise within the work
    you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like
    you who are not afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after
    your heart.

  20. I think everything said was very logical. But, think about this, suppose you composed a catchier title?
    I am not saying your information isn’t good., but suppose you added a headline to possibly grab a person’s
    attention? I mean Is Your Business/Life Coach a Sociopath?
    – Your Leadership Recipe is kinda vanilla.
    You ought to look at Yahoo’s front page and note how they create news
    titles to grab viewers to click. You might add a related video or a related pic or two to get readers excited
    about what you’ve got to say. Just my opinion, it could make
    your blog a little livelier.

  21. We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community.

    Your web site provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done an impressive job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  22. A motivating discussion is worth comment. I do think that you should write more on this topic, it may
    not be a taboo matter but usually people do not discuss such topics.
    To the next! Many thanks!!

  23. Greate article. Keep writing such kind of information on your
    blog. Im really impressed by it.
    Hi there, You have done an excellent job. I will certainly digg
    it and personally suggest to my friends. I’m confident they will be benefited
    from this site.

  24. The team at CanadianCasinos.ca consists of industry veterans who have both played and worked at online casinos as such we know that makes for a good online gaming experience. People are looking for more than just the ability to use their bank card to deposit online. Both e-wallet payments like Skrill, Paypal and Neteller, or pre-paid cards like the Paysafecard are becoming important and new betting sites UK are all realising this and allowing punters the choice to deposit with those if they wish. Choice when it comes to payment methods is more important now than it has ever been before with so many different options available to you. Paysafecard offers its own mobile application,where you can manage your spendings by scanning the QR code off of the voucher or receipt. You can then log in quicker with your fingerprint and even keep a track of your transactions by creating an account. By far the best part of this mobile app is that you can request a Paysafecard. Just generate the barcode and go to the closest retailer to pick it up! https://thewheelchairtech.com/community/profile/lynnelaby99677/ Visa cards may be easy to trace back to a real person, but the trusted provider has top security technology and allows almost instant payments and withdrawals. The leader in blockchain news, CoinDesk is a media outlet that strives for the highest journalistic standards and abides by a strict set of editorial policies. CoinDesk is an independent operating subsidiary of Digital Currency Group, which invests in cryptocurrencies and blockchain startups. If you want to try provably fair casinos, for example Crypto Games and Duckdice are 100% provably fair. Also FortuneJack casino has four provably fair games and BetChain casino has an easy menu button to select provably fair casino games. ICON Tutorials EarnBet – An EOS-based decentralized casino, featuring many games, including dice, blackjack, hilo, crash, and baccarat. Bets can be made with BTC, BCH, ETH, LTC, and EOS tokens, which must be sent to a certain address in their corresponding network before playing. The casino works on the EOS blockchain and uses its user names to register players. Every time a bet is placed, a player’s seed gets hashed with the bet_id, which results in a unique random number that can be verified on blockchain. This casino also has BET tokens as a motivational program. Players get them for making deposits and betting, and then they can use these tokens to stake and receive 100% of the house’s daily profits for staking.

  25. Pingback: cialis pills india

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Applause, Impact, and What They Say ::

  • “Hire Makenna to speak at your event, if you want your audience to have prompts to look deeper into themselves and the ways of operating that are not serving themselves or the greater good + someone who is honest and real.”

    — Allison Braun, The Business Joyologist
  • “Makenna knows how to orchestrate an event. This was a mother effin symphony. Every detail, every moment, every speaker, (did I mention the massages during check-in?!), filled with intention. I felt so taken care of. This is a mandatory event for my business. I will attend as long as she’s keen on hosting them!”

    — Lindsay Padilla, Academics Mean Business