So much of the internet world presents their world in a perpetual state of light, a string of perfect moments linked together on a blog, not a shred of darkness to be found. And so often people follow blogs because the owner seems to be perfect, it is a window into the perfect, a window into something your own life lacks. The beauty, and the plentiful. Rarely do you see a blogger acknowledge their darker sides, show their community/following that life isn’t always pinterest crafts, organic food crafting, and bliss following.
This week I made a radical decision with my online persona…I lowered the veil. I made a conscious decision to post things on my facebook page that screamed “I am not perfect”. The results? Well that is something I am chewing on now.
This was a proactive decision. I just felt it was time. Time to embrace the messy, the silly, the funny, the wild.
I’d be lying if I called this process easy. Essentially I am opening myself up to scrutiny to a world of people I don’t know well. Some of you I know better than others, some of you I trust implicitly, and some of you I don’t know at all. And I must admit this has been…well, difficult.
Not difficult because any of you have been unkind, simply difficult because of how much fear it instills in me. It is easier to show you a polished version of myself, because if one of you takes issue or decides to unfollow me or unlike me I can say “well at least it wasn’t the real me”. Being the REAL me means being willing to see myself and the way others see me, and to not take things like declining numbers on social media personally…even though it so deeply feels as such.
Thant being said, I’ve made some radical decisions.
I am resolving to no longer apologize for my humanity,
I will not be that perfect person you see on so many other sites. On the flipside, I also promise not to air my dirty laundry. But what I can guarantee is that I will be present. I will hold space for you. I will honor my own process and your existence.
I will not filter my interests
I have a wide range of interests, I like to write about a lot of things. I will not filter these things anymore. I am ready to embrace my wild, messy self and share these things that I love so dearly.
I will not take things personally.
One of my favorite books, The Four Agreements, reminds us to not take things personally because ultimately nothing others do is because of you. Someones feelings about you are really just a projection of their reality, it is not necessarily yours. (This is of course if you are living with light and patience…There are some limitations to this notion. 🙂 )
Ultimately I think these three things will give me more freedom online. They will allow me to feel more at ease and to live more authentically.
What are you doing this week to live an authentic life?