Today I find myself in a less than cheerful mood, my tendency towards light slowly being overtaken by shadow. Dark seeps into corners, smiles turn flat.
Being a wanderer, both by choice and by marriage means a great deal of excitement. Constant streams of new friends, old friends left behind, new places to discover, destruction and creation, new homes to fill with love, new jobs to be sought, new connections to build, old connections to maintain. Shiva calls. What he destroys he also leaves room for growth, fires leave fertile soil for new life, that subtle duality.
I talk a big game, I spend a lot time time harping on the ‘flowering where you are planted’ mentality. The understanding that, despite the soil conditions, the rain, the nutrients, or how often you are transplanted, it is your job as a human to thrive no matter what. You create your own happiness. You fight against the conditions to do your work, to be happy, to be your authentic self. Truth be told, this works. This mentality of “I will thrive” functions beautifully in a near flawless manner. And most days I do. Most days I see the blessings, spread the love, and enjoy the constant shifts of my life. I grow, I move, I build again.
But some days, like today, I don’t want to build or grow. Today I just want the comfort of the familiar. Hugs from people who know me and have for at least a few years. Friends who have been through the wringer with me. Ones that know both the in’s and the out’s. The up’s and the down’s.
There is joy in shadow, it reminds us of the good days, the shadow illuminates the light more effectively than the light itself. Today I will remind myself that the good days are many, and ones like today are few. Today I will drink tea and snuggle under a cozy blanket. Tday I will be thankful that tomorrow is another day.